Why women find it hard to support each other?

“You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones you see building one another up, instead of tearing each other down.” – Anonymous 

Friends

What does powerful woman mean to you? Is it someone who has a lot of money? Contacts? Physical Strength? Or perhaps it’s someone who has a lot of strain in their personal life affecting their mental health, yet they manage to get through their day?

I have been asking myself those questions for quite awhile now… I travel 10 hours each week to & from work among many other women. Some are dressed like a million dollars, some less, more casual. Does it make them worse? Less capable of succeeding in life?

When I started blogging, I didn’t know there was an entire community out there of people who love doing what I do. Blogging lets your creativity have an output and if someone reads it then great! It means you have something to contribute to the world. Perhaps, someone finds it so interesting that it goes viral and you’re an overnight success! But, for majority of us this will not happen and we have to “hustle” equally as hard.

20th Century “Babies”

As a Kildare-Dublin daily commuter, I found that the chivalry is completely gone. Men will push you to the side, if this means they will get a seat on the train. Women in their 20s completely capable of standing will not free their seat for a 60+ lady carrying a shopping bag on the Luas. Those born in the 90s (myself included) feel so privileged, almost entitled to everything. NO. You work hard, you get it – that’s how it’s always going to be.

Success

Ever since joining blogging community and support groups for “newbie” bloggers I noticed that women will always try to get one on you & I don’t understand where this ideology came from. If I like someones content and feel this would be a valuable piece of information for my followers or my friends via my personal page, or my niche in general I’m more then happy to share it via my social media channels. This unfortunately doesn’t always work both ways. It’s quite sad actually, as BELIEVE ME there are enough “followers” in the world to go around for everyone.

This applies especially for those who begin to build their following. The more established bloggers, public figures with larger following are nothing but more than happy to support each other through their channels and new ventures.

Jealousy

I have recently conducted a poll on twitter (JoannaStich) in which I’ve asked why do you think women find it hard to support each other? You know what the majority of the answers were? – Jealousy.

I don’t understand it. This envy, the whole “if she is successful that might make me less successful”. If you have a product or business that is good and you work hard and people need it, you will get there too. Sometimes, it just takes longer that’s all. I am not going to lie – people who are lucky enough to have funds to market their products have a tendency to be more successful but money isn’t everything.

WhatsApp Image 2017-08-20 at 7.59.29 PM

Friends & Family

I am the biggest advocate of giving a helping hand to a friend. On daily basis I get invitations on Facebook to one of my friend’s new Pages/Business etc. Personally, I deal with a handful of my friend’s businesses when it comes to collaboration in blogging world – only because I believe that “With friends & family it’s best to only be on a photograph”. This is a Polish saying and it’s so applicable in the business world. It basically translates to, it’s better not to do business with friends or family but I will always 100% support them, share their news if I find them relevant and recommend them to others.

Spread the Positivity

99% of the time, the first news that reach us each morning are bad news. It’s so hard to find a positive message out there. People are drawn to positive minds, fresh look on the world and in general happy personalities. Therefore, I DARE you to say something nice each day to someone – unexpectedly.  They might be going through a rough patch at work, or having a bad day, or perhaps they are doing just fine, but I guarantee you a few nice words might change their whole day. And what does it cost you? Nothing. Your honor will also be intact and your business will still prosper as well as it did before.

The Generations of Women in Our Families

You always hear the stories of your grandmother, how strong she was because she raised 6 children alone and thought them because she couldn’t afford school, how she worked in the field from dawn to dusk to put food on the table. Why 100 years later do we still talk about “her” and praise her for it? Because we are PROUD of the woman she was. She wasn’t in the business world but she was successful in her own world. So why can’t we be PROUD of a colleague who just got a promotion? Or out younger sister doing well opening her own business? Support follows support. 

Let’s build each other up, let’s spread they joy, the positivity, the ideas! There are over 7.4 billion people on earth – there is enough for everyone to succeed (if they work hard, and have the right product etc… – that’s a whole other topic I won’t get into).

Next time you see a neighbor struggling, help her with her shopping bag; or comment on your work colleague’s outfit if you like it. Don’t hold it back because to you it might mean nothing, but to “them” it might mean everything.

With this is mind, I’m going to end today’s post. I hope this gets you thinking about other women in your environment & what they might be going through. Sometimes we just need some food for thought to stop and analyse our lives a little.

“Everything is so beautiful when you stop looking for flaws.” – Anonymous

Joanna x

8 thoughts on “Why women find it hard to support each other?

  1. Wow your post couldn’t have come at a better time. I’ve just finally sunk my teeth into this blogging community and while I’ve connected with a lot of supportive women, I shockingly came across quite a few who were unsupportive. I nominated a fellow female travel blogger for a blog award, she responded, and I asked her if she wanted to connect on social media channels to support each other and stay in touch. She refused. I was downright floored (and discouraged). Then there’s this whole trend of follow/unfollow on Instagram. I wish we could all genuinely be happy for each other. We really need to band together because we are all doing what we love (for usually zero dollars) and it’s easier to keep going knowing we’re not alone. Thanks for your great read.

    Like

  2. This post is so important. I have seen so many women tear each other down to build themselves up and it’s horrifying. We should always lift each other up, no matter what. Thank you for addressing this topic and I can’t wait to read more of your posts!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This post is so on the mark. I hate how selfish some other bloggers are it frustrates me as they never get pulled up about it. I am part of the makeup community and see how bad women can be, I joined a group that focuses on building others up a year ago and ì have never looked back

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love that final quote and I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic as well at the moment. I have a friend of mine who I’m very close to, who I try to constantly support but unfortunately it often feels like I don’t have much support from her when it comes to my life and it does make me sad because I would love for us both as two women to just support one another and pick each other up, you know?
    Julia // The Sunday Mode

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Julia,
      I absolutely know how you feel. I get that feeling sometimes that no matter how good of a friend I am the other person doesn’t reciprocate when I need them. And they might not be necessarily physical things. Sometimes a drunk night together is all I need for my worries 😊😊

      Like

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